The Sammy Sosa Experiment

*************BIG LEAGUE DORK ALERT**************
*******Please Do Not Read If You Want To Retain Respect For The Author***********
*******Must Be Massive Sports Nerd To Find Entertainment Value In The Following***********

There was this board game I played as a kid that involved baseball cards, dice and a chart. You simply took your player’s stats from his baseball card and rolled the dice. Then you would plug the numbers into your chart and it would tell you the results of the at bat. It was boat loads of fun. The generic name for this game was “Stat-o-matic Baseball”, but I think the version I played was some type of derivative of the original version. None the less I played this game maniacally during the summer months. I wish I could say “I had all my friends over and we played every day” but that would simply be untrue. Most of the time I played by myself and I was happy rolling the dice, checking the result and repeating over and over and over. A complete waste of time. I should have spent that time practicing algebra or reading chemistry text books and I probably would have developed skills that actually translated into a higher paying job. Not my thing. Playing baseball via a dice game was my thing and to a certain extent it still is. Let’s go ahead and fast forward to current day and see how I manage to waste my time now.


When I was introduced to “Out of the Park Baseball” aka OOTPB in 2002 I announced to no one that my social life was over. This game would guarantee I would never have a girlfriend again. OOTPB is a baseball simulator that basically takes all the principles of “Stat-O-Matic” baseball, pumps them full of steroids and unleashes them upon unsuspecting sports nerds like myself. The game is able to accurately recreate every single season ever played in the history of baseball. You can take this thing all the way back to the 1800’s and take it from there. Want to play a season with the 1975 Reds? No problem. You can start your game during spring training and take Pete Rose, Joe Morgan and Ken Griffey all the way through the season. Every variable is controllable. If you want complete historical accuracy that’s an option. If you want a little variation to how it actually played out you can go ahead and set it up that way. Every single aspect of the game is customizable. From the player's moodiness to your farm director’s strategy with young arms, it’s all there.

The Home Run MLB Doesn't Want You to Remember

The cat was officially out of the bag on October 20th, 2002 at approximately 11:53 pm central daylight time. In a sudden enlightening moment I realized that we as sports fans had been duped. We naively sat back and took it all in, oblivious to the strange game baseball had become. As long as it remained exciting we just turned the other cheek. Nothing was wrong. Nothing was suspicious about every single season home run record being smashed between 1998 and 2001. We thought nothing of it. That was until Barry Bonds dug into the batters box in the 9th inning of Game 2 during the 2002 World Series.

There was something odd about Barry Bonds in 2001 and 2002. Already an all time great, Bonds had made a stylistic change to his approach as he hit his late 30’s. At an age when players typically became more scrappy and less powerful, Bonds had bulked up and become a left handed power hitter that could absolutely crank anything left out over the plate. He choked up, strapped an armored plate on his right elbow and stood on top of the plate. Pitching inside was out of the question with his protected elbow hanging out over the inner edge. Bonds was a damn good hitter too and a patient one at that. Rarely did he chase anything out of the zone. His batting eye was unmatched in the history of baseball. The combination of his patience, his increased power and the out of this world natural ability gave us the perfect storm in 2001 and 2002.

Full Circle: The Journey of Dewayne Wise

Dewayne Wise has been at this baseball thing since he graduated from high school back in 1997. I doubt he's ever done anything other than play baseball for a living. If I were Wise, I'd find success in that.

It's been 15 years since Dewayne Wise started playing pro ball for Cincinnati's Rookie League affiliate in Billings, MT. Since then he's made more minor league stops than I'm sure he can remember. I wonder what his favorite minor league city is? Maybe it was Burlington, IA or Rome, GA. Dunedin, FL had to be the spot for a 23 year old minor league baseball player. You can't forget Wilkes Barre, PA either!

 Not only has Dewayne Wise made his rounds in the minor's, he's also climbed from the single A level to the major leagues, FOUR DIFFERENT TIMES!

Upon joining the Blue Jays, Braves and the Reds organizations he's been assigned to single A and rose to the majors for each team. He's progressed through the Blue Jay's farm system twice!  Once as a 22 year old and again at 33 (I'd of said fuck it the second time).

His most memorable and longest major league stint came with Chicago in 2008 and 2009. Wise played a major part in 2008 when the White Sox won the central division. After a ho hum 2009, Chicago released Wise and he began the journey again.

Dewayne Wise would have played out the cliched Bull Durham career if he hadn't made the greatest catch in White Sox history. South Siders can still picture themselves there.



Late innings, perfect game, well driven ball to the gap in left center. Wise closing on it like an anti-ballistic missile. The leap, the grab, the bobble. Ball held aloft in a clinched left fist.  The film strip is burned across my baseball cornea.

The miracle perfect game saving catch is immortalized at Comiskey II on the wall in left center as "The Catch". Dewayne Wise, the most improbable of players, is the owner of a iconic major league moment.

I figured Dewayne Wise had retired sometime ago until this summer. There he was as a hated Yankee, pitching, yes pitching, against the White Sox on June 30th. After he sat down the two batters he faced I decided Dewayne Wise must of had the oddest major league career in the last 10 years.

Then we brought him back.

Released by the Yankees on July 30th, the White Sox let out a collective "swipe" and brought the South Carolina native home to Chicago.

The results have been positive. Wise again plays an intrigal part of a division leading White Sox club. At worst he's a good luck charm. Why would the White Sox not want this guy around. Everything he touches turns in to perfection.  For us they do at least.  All those other franchises must not know how to use him properly.  The White Sox are just able to get those historic plays out of Dewayne Wise.

So far as a member of the Pale Hose, Wise has posted a solid .361/.361/.639 in 36 plate appearances.

 I was going to post an advance sabermetric stat here to prove a point. Even simpler, Dewayne Wise has committed just 7 errors in 10 major league seasons. Sure, he's a spot outfielder, that's still impressive.

 (Quick number for you stat geeks anyways. Wise has posted a +55 Rdrs/yr in the outfield this year, meaning Wise saves you about 55 runs every 135 games while playing outfield.  Admittedly, I'm skewing the data intentionally to prove my point that Wise is a badass)

It's like Back to the Future around Comiskey II this summer. Just like in 2008 the White Sox are on the way to a division title behind a resurgent Dewayne Wise. A little help from Adam Dunn and Chris Sale won't hurt either.

Born on the 4th of July

People that write about baseball do it in a romantic fashion I can't duplicate. It doesn't come naturally to me for whatever reason. I always feel awkward writing about the game. So many predecessors with so much talent have covered the game better than I ever will. I'm in a mood though, what the hell.

July 4th is a baseball holiday. It falls in the middle of the summer when the air conditioner is your life line. Nobody works, although I've had many jobs where working July 4th was commonplace. The kids are out of school and have been running wild outside all summer long. July 4th provides the perfect backdrop for our national past time. Our nation's birthday belongs to baseball. They were meant for each other.

My beloved White Sox happened to play what I would call just a cool baseball game this year on the 4th. A wild, back and forth affair that was full of emotion. Toss in the bizarre conclusion and this one automatically gets saved in the memory bank.

It's been one wild ride for White Sox designated hitter Adam Troy Dunn. How should I put this? Mr. Reinsdorf is paying Adam Dunn $12 million dollars this year to do a job he's not doing. The south side isn't happy with Dunn's 1 hit against left handed pitching all season long. He hasn't homered since June 12th. His batting average is comparable to that of a National League pitcher. He hasn't worked out. The fans are booing him at home. All the while Dunn remains self effacing.

We want him to get better. After all, we're married to him until he's 34 and that salary will just keep getting bigger because of the way it's structured. Sox fans are like the guy who married a crazy bat, but is still in that "give it some time" stage.

That stage ended on July 4th. Sox fans are in love with Dunn once again. As long as there are no more 1 for 53's in his immediate future.

It really was a cool moment at 1st base yesterday afternoon. Dunn, in the midst of a career changing slump, sits on a 1-0 count in the bottom of the 4th. He faces the left handed Jeff Francis of Kansas City. And then it happens.

Dunn leans over the plate and pulls a breaking pitch to right field. The ball is tailing rapidly as it's tracked by Kansas City right fielder Jeff Francoeur. Running all out to his left Francoeur gets to his spot and positions his glove to make the tough out. The ball hits his glove and bounces out.

Dunn had done it. A base hit. A virtual miracle for Adam in this torturous campaign. The crowd at the Cell reacts positively to our good fortune. Then it seems to dawn on them who had gotten on base. The crescendo builds to a roar as the south side faithful stand to recognize the accomplishment. Dunn, to his credit, handles himself very well in a professional sense. He flashes a big smile to the dugout exposing 10 pieces of gum balled up in his mouth. Dunn even removes his cap acknowledging his new fans in a heart felt gesture. It was a baseball moment those romantic writers call "warm and fuzzy".

My July 4th would have been set with just the base hit. The slump is so bad I'm usually satisfied if Dunn just avoids a strikeout. I'm sick of getting tweets from Mark D. Gonzales that read, 101,102,103 (signifying the number of Dunn K's on the year)

I would never have believed Dunn could top the would be miracle of his 4th inning single. In the 8th inning, he did.

After taking one of his patented bad swings at a 1-0 fastball Dunn's face bares the expression of discomfort. This is how his at bats look this season. The crowd seems to sense the he's uncomfortable this time. It's the 8th inning. We're down 3-2 to a division rival. We're battling the .500 mark yet have a reasonable playoff chance. This is a big at bat. The crowd hums with a slight rally cry. They're getting behind Adam Dunn as he looks at the 1-1 from Aaron Crow.

He catches one flush. With a swing resembling Paul Bunyan swinging an ax Dunn catches one. He finally catches one. An uppercut type swing that lifts the ball high into the south Chicago sky. The noise from the crowd is remarkable. An audible gasp followed by 25,000 people yelling at an inanimate object to fly farther. Hawk Harelson desperately screams,

"Stretch, STRETCH, STRETCH!!!" Corny to everyone but life long Sox fans, I know.

After an eternity, the ball reaches the apex of it's parabola and falls to earth. It lands just beyond the right field wall in the Miller Lite Bullpen Bar. 4-3 White Sox. Adam Dunn had been resurrected. He's a fan favorite one more time and a player that passed Joe DiMaggio on the home run list with the blast.

Chicago has ridden Dunn hard all summer. This was a great moment for the embattled slugger. He's handled everything so well it stings me to hear the boos. His guys obviously have his back too. Following the home run, as the crowd stood in joy, Paul Konerko refused to step into the batters box to resume the game until his man came out and took his curtain call. Class act that Paul Konerko. One of those subtle team work type plays you can't measure in baseball.

Now equipped with a sheer intimidation factor, Dunn came to the plate again with the game on the line in the 9th. Kansas City's Aaron Crow had been victimized in the previous inning by our canyon of a DH. Now he was wary. His focus has been broken by the mountain of Adam Dunn. Crow starts towards the plate, then rocks to his back shoulder. A hitch in delivery only noticed by the ever annoying A.J. Pierzynski who stands on 3rd base. The ump took the bait and balked home the winning run. Can't say I've ever seen that in my 23 years watching the game.

What a fun game on the holiday! Now let's go get that division boys!